Honest to Blog - "Girly Girl"
- Ang Nicole
- Mar 27, 2019
- 8 min read
Sometimes I wonder if I am maybe a little too much of a cliché.
I am the kind of girl that has a favourite colour and it is EVERYWHERE in my house!
My bedside tables are aqua, my towels, my throw blanket, and the excessive amount of cushions on my bed… all aqua (well, varying shades to break it up – obviously)
I worry at times that I fit into the stereotype of femininity.
I wear skirts and dresses a LOT.
I drink a lot of tea.
I have a mountain of dream-catchers, even have a giant one tattooed on my back (although I still struggle with sleeping and often have nightmares… go figure).
Ironically when I was growing up I was fed a version of the way women should be, and subsequently rejected it.
I fought til I was blue in the face that women should be allowed to have the same rights as men, whether that was about wearing shorts instead of skirts or about the fact that women are just as capable of mowing the lawns instead of washing the dishes.
I guess, when you are forced to be something, there are kind of two options; you either become the thing they expect of you, or you revolt.
For me, this was a no-brainer!
If I were going to be told to be anything, then I would be the opposite of that thing!
You want a cute little girl who sits like a lady? Nope, I am going to sit however the hell I find it comfortable because boys get to… so why couldn’t I?
One of my favourite things about the career pathway I have chosen is that I get to help raise the next generation.
I guess looking at it from an outside view it kind of seems like I am doing exactly what was expected of me… except I’m not. Because I am 25 years old, divorced, no children of my own and basically a let down as a young female (according to the way I was raised).
As an early childhood educator I get to see how our progressive thinking can affect the lives of young people.
I am fortunate enough to work in an environment where our philosophy is based around supporting children in a way that helps them to achieve their full potential.
Sounds obvious right?
Like, of course we want children to do well in life…
Mmm, not so obvious to some!
Some girls are raised to believe that the best thing they can ever do is be a supportive wife and mother.
I mean sure, it is fantastic to be a loving and supportive partner… but that shouldn’t mean you don’t get to live out your goals either.
I guess it was a natural progression for me to become an educator because I don’t want other children to experience the version of childhood that I did… the kind where “children are meant to be seen and not heard”.
In my workplace, even children who can’t talk are listened to.
Sometimes I think about this and it kind of makes me laugh.
What a conniption it would be for certain people to see my work environment and realise that the next generation will have a voice, and actual opinions too!
Anyway, petty rant aside; I wanted to use this post to discuss an issue pretty close to my heart.
I think I briefly skimmed over what I do in an earlier post, but I want to delve into it a little more from a mental health perspective.
We’re talking about prevention and early intervention (we'll mostly be focusing on prevention in this post).
So, what is it?
Prevention is an aptly labelled concept, in terms of mental health problems it refers to interventions that occur before the initial onset of a condition to prevent its development. The aim of prevention is to identify and modify factors that are associated with mental health conditions such as perinatal influences.
Early intervention is the process of providing specialist intervention and support to a person who is experiencing or demonstrating any of the early symptoms of mental illness.
I believe prevention and early intervention to be one of the greatest tools we can utilise for children and youth.
Wellbeing in childhood is associated with a range of positive outcomes, including higher academic attainment, economic security and improved social relationships.
So, basically if we support young minds then we are helping them to be better-adjusted adults.
As an adult who is in fact unable to effectively adjust to a lot of things in my life, I can attest that earlier intervention and diagnosis would have made an immense impact on my life.
How does one even start with early intervention or prevention of mental health?
Prevention starts with the parents.
Again, some of this seems blatantly obvious but not everyone understands the importance of these factors.
First of all, parents can start by cutting out alcohol, tobacco and recreational drugs when they are aware of pregnancy. By doing this you are already ensuring your child has a better chance at being carried to term, and not being born prematurely.
I have read that the increase in the risk of psychiatric problems for adults who were born as underweight infants due to alcohol or substance abuse is 4.5 times.
Personal opinion, I can’t help thinking how messed up it is that someone could knowingly increase the chances of their child growing up to have psychiatric problems.
The next thing a parent can do to support their foetus is eat healthy food.
I know this also seems really basic, but it is super important.
While researching, so that I could provide a more grounded personal opinion on early prevention and intervention, I read that studies have shown children born to undernourished mothers had significantly increased likelihood of developing depression, mania, and schizophrenia.
How hectic is that!
Literally eating healthily during pregnancy can help to prevent potential mental health problems. And the same goes once your child is born – having a nutritious diet supports brain development, therefore a child who eats healthy has a better chance at having a healthily functioning brain.
Here’s the kicker: Nurturing parenting (or caregiving) during infancy and early life is essential for healthy physical, psychological, and social development. This includes sensitivity to the needs of the infant, using praise or rewards for positive behaviour, using appropriate and consistent negative consequences for undesired behaviour, and spending positive time with children doing activities like playing or reading.
In layman’s terms, be a decent parent who supports their child and is consistent with your means of negative consequences and your child might have a better chance at tackling life as an adult without developing mental health problems.
I know a lot of this post is sounding quite passive aggressive, but I just want to make it very clear that supporting mental health in a child can be as simple as eating well, being consistent in your parenting style and maybe just not taking drugs or smoking around your child (or anyone else’s for that matter).
Anyway, the next point I want to discuss regarding the early prevention and intervention of mental health in early childhood and youth is that parents should do their best to limit adverse childhood experiences such as abuse.
Step one: parents don’t abuse your children.
Step two: don’t let anyone else abuse your child.
Not only is this a measure in preventing mental health issues, it actually is also a preventative measure for physical health issues too.
I wanted to research a bunch of information before I just threw my ideas into this blog post and what I have noticed is the staggering amount of research that conclusively states that children who are exposed to adverse childhood experiences are more likely to end up with mental health problems, physical health problems (such as heart and lung diseases), and substance use disorders.
To break this down a bit so that we understand what abuse is in order to be able to steer clear of it: there are four types of child abuse.
1) Physical – repeated non-accidental injury or harm to a child (cuts, bruises, breaks, burns, etc. with no reasonable explanation)
2) Emotional/Psychological – persistent emotional maltreatment (deliberately telling a child they are worthless, unloved or inadequate)
3) Sexual – allowing a child to engage in or be exposed to any kind of inappropriate sexual situations (this one might seem obvious, but it also includes exposure to sexual content and I don’t think enough people realise what this means)
4) Neglect – when a child’s basic needs aren’t being met (food, clothing, housing, medical needs)
We recently talked about the 4 types of child abuse in a staff meeting at work so this has been in the forefront of my mind.
The next thing a parent can do to support their child’s mental health from an early age is expose them to different types of people and events outside of the home. Essentially, socialize your children from a young age in a way that is appropriate and that your child feels comfortable with. This can be trips to the zoo, the park, seeing a movie, etc.
Enrolling your child in childcare or kindergarten is also a great way to help them to build social skills and learn about regulating emotions in a setting that is different to their home environment.
Most “childcare” facilities have been rebranded to “early childhood education” facilities, as there are now higher expectations when caring for a child.
I have definitely had people argue that I am a glorified babysitter, but trust me when I say that a babysitter does not do anywhere near as much planning as I do!
In early childhood education facilities the staff aim to support the emotional, social and physical development of young children.
This means that we spend time ensuring that the experiences we provide are age appropriate and that the children can benefit from them by working on their skill-set (this includes fine motor abilities, gross motor skills, hand-eye co-ordination, social skills, problem solving, critical thinking, and so much more!).
This is not to say that parents who stay at home with their child/children are not also providing these valuable lessons, I just love what I do and am super passionate about it.
I said earlier that prevention and intervention starts with the parents, but it is also a part the care that educators will often also provide.
I know I go on about my workplace a lot, but I am really excited to be able to say that we have Occupational Therapists (OT) that are a part of the staffing team. If I, or another educator, observe anything we think may need to be addressed we are able to contact our OT and provide the child and their family with relevant support.
I guess what I am aiming at here, is that parents have a responsibility to educate themselves on early intervention and that educators can be instrumental in this process.
If you, or anyone you know, is wondering about the channels to finding the support they need to help a child get the best start they can try following the link provided at the bottom of this post.
I just want to take a quick second to make it super clear that early prevention and intervention doesn’t mean that mental health problems later in life will be completely avoided, but it does give a better chance to individuals.
Also, kudos to those parents who are open to the idea of early intervention and seeking help for your child!
Just know that any kind of mental health struggle, delay in learning, delay in development, or any other kind of things your child may need support with should always be approached with an open mind!
We shouldn’t see any of these things as ‘problems’ or ‘issues’ but as opportunities to help your child reach their potential.
That doesn’t mean it will always be easy, but remember that children matter, and they should be made to feel that way.
There are a large number of organisations that can help and support you, depending on your need. This link contains a list of other useful links to organisations and/or websites that can provide more information, specific detail on a topic, or support and advice.
---> CLICK HERE FOR LINK <---
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